WEEK 90: TRIAL AND ERROR

It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something. ― Franklin D. Roosevelt

REFLECTIONS (learnings and actions): Today I want to talk about failure and how you can use it to your advantage. Now, I have never met a person who likes to to FAIL, but I have found it is what happens next which separates the 1% of uber successful people and everyone else. 

Now there are TWO main points I want to highlight, but want you to imagine you are on an 10+ hour international flight first. An aisle seat, a list of the most recent movies, and food being brought to you. Sounds pretty good right.

However...imagine you have a child traveling with you. This changes everything, the non-eventful trip, has now changed to you constantly worrying if your child will burst out into tears as the cabin lights are low and everyone is trying to sleep. 

Why am I discussing traveling with a child on an international flight, when I wanted to talk about failure? 

In the previous weeks I have been talking about DIPs, and how to use them to your advantage by 1) Make room by stop comparing your results to others, and 2) use them as a trigger to analyze your daily decisions and actions, or principles. 

It is easy to say, but it is hard to do as DIPs, produce intense negative emotions like doubt, anxiety, and fear. Unfortunately, these are the same feelings we try to avoid at all costs.

Benjamin Hardy said your ability to embrace these negative emotions determines the level of success you will attain.

If you are not willing to feel uncomfortable, then you are going to ultimately settle on something short of what you are truly able to achieve. Where as, embracing these uncomfortable feelings allow you to reach the levels of success only felt by 1-3% of people on the planet.

For example, you have to be willing to feel doubt, anxiety, and fear when you go on a diet, before you reap the benefits of being in the best shape of your life. 

Back to my "international flight of terror" traveling with two kids under two. The thought of being trapped on a plane for 10+ hours with the my two adorable, yet loud kids use to give me A LOT of anxiety. However, I know this is just a part of what my wife and I must endure, in order for us to live this amazing life abroad. We could live in one place, and avoid traveling until they are older, but I think to all the opportunities they would miss out on if we did.

The first important point here is, DIPs and the negative emotions they produce are a sign you are on the right track! If you want achieve success in any form, you must be willing to endure the negative emotions which you will undoubtedly face along the way. 

Furthermore, what makes embracing DIPs so difficult is the fact they cause us to doubt our natural abilities, thus making us afraid of failure. We feel like fish out of water when taking on a new challenge, and flip and flop around trying to get used to our new environments. Truth is not many of us want to feel this way.

You can probably think back and recall a few traumatizing situations where you failed miserably. This trauma, in turn probably stopped you from trying something. I can raise my hand for sure!

But why do we do this? 

It is quite simple, we do not want to make a mistake, be wrong, or look stupid in front of others. 

Forgetting your lines in a play or presentation, not performing like you could in the clutch moment, thinking you let others down, or fill in the blank.

We try to avoid things where we might fail at all costs, as we do not want the negative memory scarred into our minds. 

However, how do you push past these feelings?

You first need to know life is a series of trial and error experiments, even the things you are most certain about, often turn out differently than you expect in some aspect. 

Knowing life is about experimentation and iteration, you can shift your focus to view failure not as an END, but a MEANS to an END.

What I mean by this, is not to see the result as final. Yes, it sucks you did not do well, but use it as a MEANS to get you to the next step.

For me, this has been integral in me writing my first book and starting my businesses. There have been a lot results where others might call "failures" on the surface, but I view them as a MEANS to an END to help me get to the next step.

Thus, the second main point is to know results are a MEANS to an END, not an END themselves. Thus, you can iterate and FAIL-UP often so you can get to the next step.

The alternative is you stay STUCK where you are today as you do not try anything new as you are afraid to fail..be wrong, make a mistake, or look stupid in front of others...

The choice is always yours, but I know you will choose to take the Leap and move forward! 

What Went Well?

Tony Robbins said something about capturing 3-4 magical moments everyday. We often get caught up in the details of our daily lives where we forget to appreciate the awesome things around us. I put this into practice this past week and was able to pause and capture some amazing magic moments. From pausing and enjoying the sun on my face, to being recognized by a class of 10th graders on the passion I ignited in them to pursue their passions, it was truly a magical week!

What is something we can improve? What actions can we take next week?

Be physically in one place and mentally in another. Presence is something I am always looking to improve, thus next week I want to try to take a breath and be present where ever I might be. 

What is something to avoid next week?

Not being present. 

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PLANNING (Implementation Intention):  You will follow through 2X to 3X more likely to complete your weekly task than you normally would just by filling in the following statement.

I plan to complete the weekly task [day] at [time] in [location]. 

A reminder you might have to use multiple Implementation Intentions in order to follow through.

EXECUTION (strategies used):  From week to week, I use a combination of many strategies. There are always some which are used more than others depending on what comes up, but I wanted to offer a link to all them at once. 

My advice is to identify the I CAN'T statement you tell yourself during the most. Then find a strategy below the statement which resonates with you, and then start using it. 

Enjoy!

STRATEGY LIST