WEEK 98: ENCOUNTERING THE DIP

In any moment of decision, the best thing to do is the right thing. The worst thing you could do is nothing.   Theodore Roosevelt

REFLECTIONS (learnings and actions): Who here has every tried to take on a massive goal or a monumental task which stretched you to the point where you felt major indecision?

Can I do it?

Will it work?

What happens if....?

Could I fail?

These are but a few of the questions which were racing through my mind this week. Why?

This week I took steps to move my company forward and wanted to complete the following tasks:

1. Set-up business account.

2. Get feedback on a project from a influencer.

3. Continue conversations and close a prospective client.

Before I tell you the results, I want to share a quote from Dan Kennedy, and expert direct marketer. 

"Entrepreneurial life is about solving of a NEVER-ending stream of problems." ( I will write more about this in later weeks)

I had an illusion that once my businesses started, everything would be easier in some way. However, I have found there are actually more problems to solve today than when I started. Actually, a lot more. 

Now back to my three tasks.

1. Set-up business account.

I was rejected as I did not have a physical address for my office. This was after I set up a mailbox, sat on the phone for 3 hrs to talk to a representative (over a three day period).

2. Get feedback on a project from a influencer.

I was making large strides and getting the attention of an influencer, but once he saw my initial project he was a little put off. I actually took the info he had provided and combined it in a new way, but it did not seem to sit well with him (or that is what I am thinking, could be different). 

I gave him another project I am working on and he went through and saw all of it. I made several attempts to contact him...yet, NO response.

Crickets. Thus the uncertainty of it all has led to me think about ALL the possibilities, most of them bad.

3. Continue conversations and close a prospective client.

Lastly, I contacted a prospective client last week who was super interested, and we decided to get on another call this week, but again...crickets.

These are but a few of the challenges I face on a daily basis.

In the last couple of weeks I have written about the three step process to overcome the uncomfortable feelings when you encounter your DIP on the path to achieving success and your dreams.

1. Body is ready for action.

2. More o2 for the brain.

3. Trigger to make room (as you're judging and comparing your results to someone else) and analyze principles, daily decisions and actions. 

I want to add another one

4. Indecision. 

This is something which happened to me this week and this is another "trigger" to tell you are on the right path. However, it is the same resistance which keeps you frozen from taking action. 

First, you need to apply First Principles. I learned this from Elon Musk and it is the idea which led him to creating the Tesla line of cars. I am not going into the story here, but search "First Principles" and Elon Musk and you will be able to find the story.

First principles is where you break down an idea to its fundamental parts and ask "What do we know is true?"

I did this, this week when my mind was was being crippled with indecision.

For example, a thought I had was..."What happens if the influencer does not like my project?"

I broke it down into its fundamental parts: He can either, one like it (awesome!) or two not like it. Then, asked "What do we know is true?" The truth is, either outcome has no bearing on what actions I can take next. 

And this leads to next step, which is to be DISCIPLINED over what is easy.

Being disciplined requires you to take actions you know work, even if you feel uncertain about the result. Instead of the "Easy" part, which would be to sit there and think about all the different possibilities and NOT take action. 

Thus if you feel indecision and are frozen in doubt on the path to achieving your dreams, know you are in the right place. Second, apply First Principles and stay "Disciplined over easy" to move past the uncomfortable feelings and achieve massive success. 

What Went Well?

I promise this is not a copy and paste error....Traveling, living out of suitcases, children and wife sick, yet Weekly Task completed!

What is something we can improve? What actions can we take next week?

Measuring and reporting on new habits I am implementing. I have had difficulty in the past weeks in incorporating some new habits and need to, one measure them and two, report on them to make the modifications to ingrain them into my daily schedule.

As, I have learned you can never change what you do not track.

What is something to avoid next week?

Not measuring and reporting new habits. 

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PLANNING (Implementation Intention):  You will follow through 2X to 3X more likely to complete your weekly task than you normally would just by filling in the following statement.

I plan to complete the weekly task [day] at [time] in [location]. 

A reminder you might have to use multiple Implementation Intentions in order to follow through.

EXECUTION (strategies used):  From week to week, I use a combination of many strategies. There are always some which are used more than others depending on what comes up, but I wanted to offer a link to all them at once. 

My advice is to identify the I CAN'T statement you tell yourself during the most. Then find a strategy below the statement which resonates with you, and then start using it. 

Enjoy!

STRATEGY LIST

WEEK 97: RESULTS ARE A MEANS TO AN END, NOT AN END THEMSELVES

Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction.     John F Kennedy

REFLECTIONS (learnings and actions): 

I had a couple of conversations this week on the power of having a purpose with some possible future LYP members and wanted to share the insights I shared. 

To start, I want you to think of a large room in your mind filled with people. Next, say I have two volunteers who will help me. 

One I ask to just walk, no specific place in particular. The volunteer might ask where to go, but I would just say walk anywhere you want. 

The other I ask to walk from one corner to another. 

Now which one will get to their destination faster?

Of course the person who walks from one corner to the other!

Now how might this situation be similar to our lives, and how we try to achieve success on the path to achieving our dreams? 

Well, most of us, me being included for about 35 years before I started my LYP, are the person walking aimlessly around the room. Going from one spot to the next, trying this and that, always moving, yet really going nowhere. However, the biggest detriment is we do not have the power to say NO!

For example, if someone were to come up in the room example and ask you if you wanted to walk over to another area, you would probably say yes, as you really have no other place you need to go.

In real life, think about all the things you want to achieve, but not having a clear purpose. If something interesting comes up, you will probably say YES, even if it takes you away from something you want to achieve. (See example below).

Now why is this so? Well let me share TWO inherent benefits of of having a purpose. 

First, it gives focus to your activities. Who reading this has done 20, 30, 40 things at once and then get frustrated as you make little to no progress. Without a clear purpose you will try many different activities, some will move your forward, yet some will keep you where you are at, or even take you backwards. 

Having a clear purpose is like uploading directions on your GPS. It provides the steps you can take in order to get to your destination as fast as possible. 

Second, it gives you the power to say NO! This is huge! I remember many instances in the beginning of my LYP where I was able to say NO to activities which did not move me closer to achieving my ultimate outcomes. 

In the walking example above, if you are walking from one corner and someone asks you to go to another part of the room, you can kindly say NO, as you know this will take you farther away from your final destination. 

For example, I distinctly remember Friday afternoons where friends would invite me out to "Happy Hour" after a long week of work. Before my LYP I would have said yes in an instant. However, once I had a purpose to finish writing my book, I made it a point to meet my daily writing quota. If I did not, I knew what I would be doing that day. 

The same is true today currently with goal of growing my online businesses forward. There are many instances where I could be doing other things...catching up with the Game of Thrones series, reading the mountain of books I want to get to, or..., yet I know if I do not complete certain actions, then my partnbers and I stay stagnant and possible lose momentum on moving our business ventures forward.

To help you with this second benefit of saying NO, you can use the Pareto principle to accelerate towards you ultimate outcomes! I have mentioned this principle in the past, and it is idea where 20% of your actions produce 80% of your results.  

To start, you just list and track all the activities you take on a daily basis in order to achieve your goals. Then, you identify the 20% actions which help you make the biggest strides towards your ultimate outcomes and the remaining 80% which do not. Then you focus on the 20% and see how you can improve them, and CUT THE REST!  Although these other actions might help you grow incrementally, you with have to be ruthless and cut them out if you truly want to accelerate towards achieving success. 

Thus, want to achieve success? Want to achieve your dreams? 

Have a clear purpose to help you accelerate towards these eventualities by one, giving you focus to your activities, and two, giving you the power to say NO! 

What Went Well?

Weekly Task completed while on the road again amid heavy daily challenges. 

What is something we can improve? What actions can we take next week?

Build sustainable change properly. I have been trying some new techniques in growing our businesses, yet I went from 0 to 180 degrees. The LYP has taught me how to build sustainable change...incrementally...and I have been struggling to maintain some of these new methods, because I pushed too hard in the beginning.

Thus, I will start small and add 1% until I reach my ceiling, and then stay there until that gets easy and continue to add 1% to grow.

What is something to avoid next week?

Judging results. Results are merely a Means to an END, not an end themselves. 

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PLANNING (Implementation Intention):  You will follow through 2X to 3X more likely to complete your weekly task than you normally would just by filling in the following statement.

I plan to complete the weekly task [day] at [time] in [location]. 

A reminder you might have to use multiple Implementation Intentions in order to follow through.

EXECUTION (strategies used):  From week to week, I use a combination of many strategies. There are always some which are used more than others depending on what comes up, but I wanted to offer a link to all them at once. 

My advice is to identify the I CAN'T statement you tell yourself during the most. Then find a strategy below the statement which resonates with you, and then start using it. 

Enjoy!

STRATEGY LIST

WEEK 96: KNOW YOUR BODY

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.   Anais Nin

REFLECTIONS (learnings and actions): Have you ever stared at a large tree in awe? 

Its strength. Its size. Its persistence. 

Crazy to think it started as a see. Then it grew out of the ground with only a few branches, to now be a beacon in the sky. 

Now there were definite times when the tree had to endure times of stress, storms or droughts, in order to stand so firm in the ground today. 

Ironic thing is massive growth came from these chaotic times. Roots grew stronger and deeper in the ground, branches became stronger from enduring high winds. All of which, allowed for more growth during calm times.

Additionally, the strength of the tree was tested during droughts where there was limited rainfall.

The process of how a mature tree achieved its size and strength is the same as your path to achieving massive success and your dreams. 

The DIPs where you encounter uncertainty and uncomfortable feelings, are the storms and droughts the tree faces.

Funny things is we try to avoid these negative feelings at all costs.

Yet, these feelings are a trigger to signal growth and pushing you past your comfort zone to learn new skills. 

I know it is hard to take this perspective, but these are the times your "roots" are reaching deeper into the soil to anchor you in the midst of the turmoil.

Now I have discussed this idea of "Cultivating your Soft Zone" or to use uncomfortable feelings to your advantage before, but I want to share some new insights I have gained, which breaks this down into THREE main themes.

1. If your body tenses, then KNOW YOUR BODY IS READY FOR ACTION.

In the past I would perceive this as nerves and try frantically to calm my them, but this only aggravated the situation. I have learned sweaty palms, knots in your stomach, and tense shoulders is a trigger to let you know your BODY is ready for action. 

You are like a jaguar ready to pounce on its prey!

The energy you feel is ready to be applied. 

Knowing this will help you transform your energy from one of nerves to one of alertness. 

2. If you breathe heavy or frequently, then KNOW YOU ARE GETTING MORE OXYGEN TO THE BRAIN.

Another trigger I used to think of as negative side effect of nerves, but now perceive as my brain getting more oxygen. 

This is Awesome, as you gain the understanding your brain is getting plenty of oxygen, thus allowing you to think properly in a crucial moment. 

3. If you feel frustrated with your current results, then MAKE ROOM AND ANALYZE PRINCIPLES.

You will make massive goals on the path to achieving success and your dreams, yet most of us get caught up in the results. 

Step 1.  This is where you need to MAKE ROOM in your mind for the awesomeness you can create. This happens by NOT comparing your results to others. 

Step 2. Analyze your principles or daily actions and decisions. Your results are the result of, well the actions you take daily. Thus, if you are frustrated with your results, then make a list of actions and use the Pareto principle (20% of actions create 80% of results) to identify which actions to focus on, and which actions to drop.

This has helped me accelerate my growth and progress towards achieving my ultimate outcome of writing/publishing a book, launching my online business (by the way closed a 51k contract last week!). 

Thus, use this three steps process to "cultivate your Soft Zone" to use the uncomfortable feelings you feel during your DIPs to your advantage. 

Just remember, massive trees needed these chaotic times in order to grow stronger roots into the ground and reach new heights never thought imaginable. 

The same with YOU. You will have to embrace these times in order to reach new levels of success and achieve your wildest dreams. 

What Went Well?

Traveling yet again, schedules off, but weekly task completed. 

By the way, our little company closed our first large contract today! 51k, BOOM!

What is something we can improve? What actions can we take next week?

Getting to bed on time. I have written this in past weeks, but have yet to make this happen CONSISTENTLY. Sleep = happier, more efficient Jess. 

What is something to avoid next week?

Not getting to bed on time. 

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PLANNING (Implementation Intention):  You will follow through 2X to 3X more likely to complete your weekly task than you normally would just by filling in the following statement.

I plan to complete the weekly task [day] at [time] in [location]. 

A reminder you might have to use multiple Implementation Intentions in order to follow through.

EXECUTION (strategies used):  From week to week, I use a combination of many strategies. There are always some which are used more than others depending on what comes up, but I wanted to offer a link to all them at once. 

My advice is to identify the I CAN'T statement you tell yourself during the most. Then find a strategy below the statement which resonates with you, and then start using it. 

Enjoy!

STRATEGY LIST

WEEK 95: FEAR

You are never truly ready to take on big challenges. That is why you start before you are ready. You qualify yourself through action.   Benjamin Hardy

REFLECTIONS (learnings and actions): Today I want to start by doing an experiment with you to highlight today's learning. 

I want you to rub your stomach with one hand in one direction and then try to rub your head with the other hand in the other direction. 

Try to complete 5 rotations with both hands....

Seriously, try it! (if you know how to do this, then try squashing a piece of paper and throwing it in a nearby trashcan).

Now why am I asking you to try this simple experiment? What is the connection? It ties into the source of one of the biggest obstacles which stands in your way from achieving success and your dreams!

Drum roll please...FEAR.

Now FEAR can take on many different forms such as, being incorrect, failure, looking stupid in front of others, being different, yet it boils down to you not taking action.

Ironic thing is it ONE thing we try to avoid at all costs, but is the ONE thing we need to endure in order to achieve success. Now I have mentioned before the path to achieving your dreams is filled with uncertainty, which thus produces DIPs and uncomfortable feelings associated with them such as doubt, anxiety, and FEAR. 

There is a 100% chance you have memories of past failures where you felt one or a combinations of the above mentioned negative emotions. 

Going back to the experiment. How many of you were successful? 

I am guessing not too many of you, but what I am pretty certain about is many of you tried multiple times. Additionally, you made adjustments each time to make more progress than you did before. 

Now how can rotating your hands in two different directions help you overcome FEAR?

It is PERSPECTIVE.

You saw the experiment as a "Trial and Error" experiment. You did not know completely know how to do it at the beginning, but you took an educated guess, took action, and autocorrected on the way. 

You USED the errors as guides to get you to the end goal. Furthermore, you saw the results not as an END, but a MEANS to an END, which allowed you continue taking action. 

This has HUGE ramifications in achieving success in your life! WHY?

Most of us tend to see results as an END in themselves when we take on goals and bigger challenges in our lives. Thus, if something does not turn out a certain way, we let all the memories of past failure and the negative emotions associated with them remind us why we can not do it. 

This cripples us from taking action and provides the excuse that it is ok to quit.

Some of you might say there are more things on the line with bigger goals and challenges and I agree. 

BUT...

What I urge you to do is to take the perspective of achieving the goal as a "Trial and Error" experiment, where the results are a MEANS to an END, not an END themselves. 

This will allow you to see the negative emotions you feel not as inhibitors, but as contributors to the learning process. They are just deviations from the positive goal desired and guide you in what actions you need to take next. 

What Went Well?

Weekly task completed and taking massive action by taking on the perspective that results are a MEANS to an END, not an END themselves.

What is something we can improve? What actions can we take next week?

Getting to bed on time. My schedule has been off the past couple of weeks, which has pushed my bedtime back. This has caused me to get less sleep than usual. 

Need to set a bedtime and stick to it!

What is something to avoid next week?

Not getting to bed at a consistent time. 

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PLANNING (Implementation Intention):  You will follow through 2X to 3X more likely to complete your weekly task than you normally would just by filling in the following statement.

I plan to complete the weekly task [day] at [time] in [location]. 

A reminder you might have to use multiple Implementation Intentions in order to follow through.

EXECUTION (strategies used):  From week to week, I use a combination of many strategies. There are always some which are used more than others depending on what comes up, but I wanted to offer a link to all them at once. 

My advice is to identify the I CAN'T statement you tell yourself during the most. Then find a strategy below the statement which resonates with you, and then start using it. 

Enjoy!

WEEK 94: DISCIPLE EVEN IN THE FACE OF CHALLENGE

We must all suffer two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment.   Jim Rohn

REFLECTIONS (learnings and actions): 

 Awhile back I mentioned an experiment where a marshmallow is placed in front of a child and then told they will receive another one if they waited. What is surprising is the amount of success a person attains is correlated to what the child did next. 

How you might ask? It comes down to discipline. At some point you will need to be disciplined and take the proper actions instead of becoming distracted and doing what is EASY.  Or you choose the initial pain of discipline over the ease of distraction to enjoy the gratification of success later.

This has been a game changer for me in the past month or so when we have packed up our house in Brazil and moved to our temporary home in the US. 

The challenges of moving with a toddler and infant to a different country is no joke: schedules off, food choices different, new routines to learn...change at its max.

Now there would be less resistance if we were to give in at times and do what was easier, but I have learned it is the act of being disciplined which helps you cultivate a skill that will help you achieve any goal. 

For example, our son is usually a great eater and eats vegetables, meat, fruit, and other options at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. However, the move has changed him to a picky eater only wanting to eat certain things. 

Now the easy thing would be for us to just say it is the move and let him eat whatever he wants, knowing he is not getting all the nutrients he needs. 

This is similar to the marshmallow experiment where the child does not wait 15 minutes and automatically eats it. Less resistance. 

However, Meggo and I have been disciplined to test new ways of getting him to eat nutritious food even if he does not want it at first. It is challenging, but it is starting to pay off. 

Now some of you might be asking if we some of us are lucky and born with the gift of will power and some are not? 

The answer is NO!

Lets say I told Tae, my son, he can get juice if he eats three more bites of vegetables. If I give him juice afterwards, then it provides a positive experience and he learns by doing action A, eat three bites, he gets result B, juice. 

Where as, if he ate the three bites and I did not give him juice, he would learn doing action A, will not result in B. Thus, teaching him what he is told and what actually happens are different. Thus, this gives him an inconsistent experience, which will in turn make him choose what is most gratifying at the time. 

Now this is HUGE as this idea of cultivating DISCIPLINE over what is easy can help you crush any goal you have. 

Imagine this process

1.Setting a goal.

2. Identifying the actions which will accelerate you towards it

3. Being DISCIPLINED to those actions. 

Would you achieve your goals? 

YES....and I can guarantee so much more, as this is what I have been able to accomplish through the LYP! 

Thus, throw the notion out you are a person who does NOT have will power and start giving yourself EASY experiences where you can be DISCIPLINED over the easy choice. 

For example, buckling your seat belt every time you get in a car or flossing every day. Simple choices, but you start cultivating this idea of being DISCIPLINED over what is easy. 

This will help you when you apply it to a larger goals and eventually becomes ingrained in your daily habits on the path to achieving your dreams!

What Went Well?

Moving between countries with two little ones but devoted to my LYP everyday!

What is something we can improve? What actions can we take next week?

Worrying less. There is no way you can think of every possibility or outocme, yet this is what we do a majority of the time. This freezes you from taking action.  

Thus, Identify steps to move forward. Iterate and focus on your principles, daily decisions and actions, to make progress. 

What is something to avoid next week?

Expectation...thinking everything to turn out a certain way. FLOW, rather than constrict. 

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PLANNING (Implementation Intention):  You will follow through 2X to 3X more likely to complete your weekly task than you normally would just by filling in the following statement.

I plan to complete the weekly task [day] at [time] in [location]. 

A reminder you might have to use multiple Implementation Intentions in order to follow through.

EXECUTION (strategies used):  From week to week, I use a combination of many strategies. There are always some which are used more than others depending on what comes up, but I wanted to offer a link to all them at once. 

My advice is to identify the I CAN'T statement you tell yourself during the most. Then find a strategy below the statement which resonates with you, and then start using it. 

Enjoy!

WEEK 93: MAKE ROOM

Let difficulty transform you. And it will! In my experience, we just need help in learning how not to run away.   

Pema Chodron

REFLECTIONS (learnings and actions): This week I wanted to write to you about an idea that has been a central focus in the past 8-10 weeks. What is it?

It is the path to achieving your dreams. 

I have mentioned before that the path to achieving your dreams will be hazy and unclear. This lack of clarity will cause you to feel uncomfortable feelings, such as anxiety, doubt, and fear. 

Why? Well, we try to avoid failing at all costs as we do not want to look wrong, different, or stupid in front of others. 

Ironic things is these are the same feelings we must endure in order to reach levels of success never thought possible. 

I love the quite above as, it encapsulates what the LYP provides on the path to achieving your dreams. 

It provides the lessons and strategies to help you not "RUN AWAY."

I am now in W93 of my LYP and know this process will always be a part of my life to close the gap between where I am and where I choose to be!

Now, are there hard weeks? Are there times when I have doubts? Are there times when I try to avoid failure? 

YES...YES...YES

YET...the LYP has give me the structure to embrace the uncomfortable feelings on the path to achieving my dreams!

To summarize here is a  process to help you cope with the uncomfortable feelings you will encounter the DIPs on the path

1. Make room. 

Usually you start feeling these uncomfortable feelings when you start comparing your results, or lack there of, with others. This in turn will take you down a downward spiral of negative thoughts of "why things will not work" or "why you can not do it."

Thus, first thing is to stop comparing and make room for you step 2.

2. List our your principles

You are the sum of the daily decisions and actions you take. These are called your principles. So, after you make room and release your judgement and comparison with others, sit down and actually identify the decisions and actions you are taking. 

3. Use Pareto principle

The Pareto principle states that 80% of your results are produced from 20% of your actions. Thus, you want to go through your list of principles and identify which actions are helping you make the biggest leaps forward. 

Although all of items on your list might help you move forward, doing them all at the same time will produce incremental growth at best. 

Be vigilant and take things off that do not help you accelerate towards your ultimate outcome.

4. Measure and report

When performance is measured it improves. When performance is measured and reported, the rate of learning accelerates. 

If you want to reach high levels of anything you have to first identify where you are. Then you have to track and report on your progress so you can make the modifications to move you forward.

It like how an airplane constantly autocorrects its flight path so you get to your destination. Imagine what would happen if it never did this. Would you ever get to your destination? Would you possibly run straight into a mountain?

Yet, most of never do this in our lives. We choose our destination, but never track or make adjustments along the way and then ask ourselves "why have we not gotten there?"

I highly recommend the STREAKS app to help you measure and report your progress, as it provides stats that show you how you are actually doing. 

Thus, want to achieve amazing things in your life? Then know you will encounter DIPs and the uncomfortable feelings they produce and use the 4 steps process to use them to your advantage and accelerate towards achieving your dreams. 

What Went Well?

Moving between countries, schedules off, various changes....but weekly task completed!

What is something we can improve? What actions can we take next week?

Spending more time with loved ones. One great thing about the LYP is that it has given me a laser like focus on achieving my dreams, but there are times when it consumes all my thoughts and time. 

Family and friends are an important part of our lives and want to make more time for them.I want to carve out more quality family/friend time everyday. 

What is something to avoid next week?

Not drinking enough water. All this change has taken me away from dirking enough throughout the day. 

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PLANNING (Implementation Intention):  You will follow through 2X to 3X more likely to complete your weekly task than you normally would just by filling in the following statement.

I plan to complete the weekly task [day] at [time] in [location]. 

A reminder you might have to use multiple Implementation Intentions in order to follow through.

EXECUTION (strategies used):  From week to week, I use a combination of many strategies. There are always some which are used more than others depending on what comes up, but I wanted to offer a link to all them at once. 

My advice is to identify the I CAN'T statement you tell yourself during the most. Then find a strategy below the statement which resonates with you, and then start using it. 

Enjoy!