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Monday, September 25, 2017

WEEK 106: LED BY YOUR DREAMS

Don't be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams.   Ralph Waldo Emerson

REFLECTIONS (learnings and actions): I read this quote earlier this week and it came at a perfect time.

I have mentioned in previous weeks that moving continents with my family has been a little more challenging than expected.

The move has caused a lot of frustration and stress. Additionally, it has created doubts in my mind and questions like:

Is this it?

Is this where I quit?

Why did we move?

It actually took me down a downward spiral which caused me to lash out on those that are closest to me...sorry Meggo! 

Now I have written in the past that the path to achieving your dreams will be uncertain at times. This lack of clarity will produce uncomfortable feelings like doubt, anxiety, fear which you will have to endure.

Now, even though I have written this in the past, it was really hard to live this out.

Going back to this week, I felt so overwhelmed with the duties of being a husband, father, and acclimating to my new job while still devoting time to my LYP. 

In the past, these everyday challenges wouldn't phase me, but this week they did. 

I was limited to minutes devoting to my LYP and businesses, instead of the hours I was used to spending before my families move.

To give an analogy, I felt like a pinball being bounced from one bumper to another. 

This is where the quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson comes into play. 

The path to achieving your dreams will be bumpy and you will be pushed along the way. That is a GIVEN!

But it is in these times where you choose not to be pushed by your problems (illusion) and you choose to be led by your dreams.

This means taking on the perspective that whatever is happening in your life (limited time to invest in LYP) is a means to an end, not an end itself.

I am married to an awesome wife and she helped me see I actually had pockets of time I could devote. The problem was I could not see them, as I was consumed by the doubt, anxiety, and fear produced from all changes in our lives.

After reflection, I was able to go back to one of my other principles; feeling frustrated is trigger to make room (stop comparing my results with others) and make room for the awesomeness in my life.

This is just what I did on Friday and things started to look up.

Thus, so the next time you feel frustrated or stressed from the challenges of achieving your dreams, take a breath and go back to the principles of the LYP. 

Be led by your dreams and stop being pushed by your (perceived) problems!

What Went Well?

I was presenting at a Edtech summit all weekend and extra time was a limited resource. Although this could have been an excuse, I carved out the the time and WT completed. 

What is something we can improve? What actions can we take next week?

I often get so tied up in something happening a certain way that I get frustrated if it does not turn out a certain way. Constrictive!

One my my LYP members actually reminded me of a strategy which I had forgotten, it is to be Committed to you Vision, but Flexible with the Approach. 

This will allow me to FLOW and not constrict what is happening in the future.

What is something to avoid next week?

Trying to control and constrict everything!

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PLANNING (Implementation Intention):  You will follow through 2X to 3X more likely to complete your weekly task than you normally would just by filling in the following statement.

I plan to complete the weekly task [day] at [time] in [location]. 

A reminder you might have to use multiple Implementation Intentions in order to follow through.


EXECUTION (strategies used):  From week to week, I use a combination of many strategies. There are always some which are used more than others depending on what comes up, but I wanted to offer a link to all them at once. 

My advice is to identify the I CAN'T statement you tell yourself during the most. Then find a strategy below the statement which resonates with you, and then start using it. 

Enjoy!

Saturday, September 16, 2017

WEEK 105: USE PER TO REFLECT

Insanity...doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.     Albert Einstein

REFLECTIONS (learnings and actions): This week I want to write about the equal opportunity we are given on a daily basis? 

YET...most of use unwisely on the path to achieving success and your dreams.

What is it? 

It is the 24 hour period we have to create everyday.

There is no distinction of race, gender, or social class. 

It does matter if you have 1 billion dollars or a negative balance in your bank account.

EVERYONE has this same amount. 

Although, everyone is given this equal 24 hour period, I have learned through my LYP that how you use this it determines how much you possess of the greatest resource of all.

TIME.

Earlier I mentioned how most of use this 24 hours unwisely, and I for one do the same from time to time. 

Yes, that is correct. 

Even after starting my LYP, I still had and have my moments where I have squandered this time.

The only difference now is I track and then analyze what inputs take me away from my ultimate outcomes. 

Now I have talked about measuring and reporting on your INPUTS, or daily decisions and actions, when you are frustrated with your results or at a place where you feel you are stagnant. 

This week was one of those moments for me. Now before I tell you what I did, let me tell you a story.

Now imagine you are Luke Skywalker in the Star Wars movie series and you are sitting with Yoda on the surface of a barren planet.

You are deep within a meditation session when he poses a deep phrase to ponder.

"You say you do not like pain, yet you will welcome it over and over again."

Now if you are not a Star Wars fan, then let me tell you Luke Skywalker was a pupil of Yoda, a master Jedi, and was constantly given phrases to help him reach a new level of clarity of his potential.

Hopefully you were able to decipher the message here, but we all know what stands in our way of achieving success, yet we still complete those actions which holds us back.

To put it another way, it is like me telling you the burner of a stove top is hot and not to touch it, yet you keep doing it over and over again.

This ties into what Albert Einstein's definition of insanity, which is,

"...doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

You are probably shaking your head in agreement right now, but how often do we, me being included, fall into this trap of self sabotaging ourselves?

Now, what did I do this week. 

Since I have started my LYP I have been able to finish a manuscript, find my passion in being an entrepreneur, and have lost 10 kilos on the way. 

Now, this has happened because I have been able to cut out foods and activities which do not take me closer to being in the best shape of my life. 

One of those activities is the over consumption of food and beverage. Actually, this was one of the biggest reasons I started my LYP.

I could not ever moderate and it was slowly taking me down a path of destruction. 

This is what happened this week, I indulged in both food and beverage. What was the result? Losing a night's worth of sleep, being sick for one and a half days, which took me away from being a father, husband, and my LYP.

Now in the past I would have berate myself and this would actually would lead me to going deeper down the rabbit hole.

Where as, now I have a natural mechanism to gauge what has worked well, what can be improved, and what can be avoided on a weekly basis (PER). 

As I reflect back, I can easily see what can be improved and avoided.

The LYP has given me purpose and I now know which actions take me away from the outcomes I choose.

More importantly, it has given me the ability to say NO.

Thus, by measuring and tracking my performance, lack their of, and using the Pareto principle I can identify not to over indulge in food and beverage as it takes me away from my ultimate outcomes!

To wrap it up, there will be times when you are taken away from your path. Expect it, but use the LYP to help you get back on course so you can take steps to achieve success and your dreams. 

What Went Well?

WT completed, even though it was a tough week of battling sickness.

What is something we can improve? What actions can we take next week?

Over consumption of food and beverage. Plan ahead and incorporate strategies before I am in situations which will test me in this area.

What is something to avoid next week?

Over consumption of food or beverage. 


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PLANNING (Implementation Intention):  You will follow through 2X to 3X more likely to complete your weekly task than you normally would just by filling in the following statement.

I plan to complete the weekly task [day] at [time] in [location]. 

A reminder you might have to use multiple Implementation Intentions in order to follow through.


EXECUTION (strategies used):  From week to week, I use a combination of many strategies. There are always some which are used more than others depending on what comes up, but I wanted to offer a link to all them at once. 

My advice is to identify the I CAN'T statement you tell yourself during the most. Then find a strategy below the statement which resonates with you, and then start using it. 

Enjoy!

WEEK 104: GOAL SETTING

Goals are great for planning, but ...

REFLECTIONS (learnings and actions): Today I want to talk to you about an integral aspect when you want to achieve success and your dreams.

Goal setting.

Now there is a ton of information out there about this, but this is one area I have had to work to find clarity in.

Why is this?

One of the main reasons is we get so focused on the end results, which can cause a sea of uncomfortable feelings. They will make you question what you are doing, or even worse, cause you to give up on the very thing that is so close achieve.

It has taken me about a year and a half of experimentation, but I have been able to create a goal setting system which helps you achieve massive success, without wanting to quit within a week of starting.

Take a looksie below...

1. Goals are good for planning, but focus on your inputs to make progress.

I learned this early on in my LYP from James Clear and it has been validated by many others along the path. 

Setting a goal is necessary to help you identify a target to aim form, but if you want to make progress focus on your inputs (daily decisions and actions).

You will make incremental progress at best if you solely focus on the end result.

2. Choose Identify, not result/appearance based goals.

We often choose goals which are based in a certain result.

For example, run a half marathon or lose 15 lbs (6 kilos). These are good, but what happens after you run the half marathon or lose the weight? What's next?

I have learned that most people that achieve a certain result, often return to a previous state where they are at the same, or worse place before they started.

Instead of choosing a certain result, choose an identify based goal.

For the two examples above, running a marathon and losing 15 lbs would be based off the identify of being a person in great health.

Thus, your goal would be to be the healthiest person you can be, which would allow you to take the continuous actions to validate this new identity.

3. Aggregation of Marginal Gains

I have a secret...sustainable change takes time!

We often times see a fantastical story where we have a sudden surge of motivation! We start a task, but then slowly fizzle out. Or, even worse we reach a certain level of success, and then let ourselves go until we are at the same position we started. 

Why is this? 

Most people do not know the mechanisms for sustainable change.

This is where the Aggregation of Marginal gains comes into play.

AMG is the strategy where you create sustainable change by making 1% improvements towards anything you want to achieve.

For the running a marathon example above, you start by walking a mile and adding 1% increase in length each time you exercise, instead of running 5 miles straight out the gate. It is pretty surprising, but you would increase your initial output by 34% just by adding 1% improvement over a a 30 day span.

Why does this work? 

Well, 1% by itself is insignificant. Even with the hardest task, you would not blink twice about doing 1% better. 

However, when done consistently, can produce amazing results.

4. Achieve small wins to validate your new Identity.

You have set your new identity based goal and know you will use the AMG to achieve it.

But, what actions will you need to take to achieve this?

Taking on a goal to achieve massive success and your dreams will require heavy change, and it will take time to do this. 

You will probably think you are not able to do such a thing when you start and this is exactly how I felt when I started my LYP.

Write a book, no way?

Start a successful online business, not to mention two others others...where do I even start?

I did not have the identity in place for me to believe I could such things, but I got there through small, daily wins. 

It does not matter what you do every once in a while, what matters most is what you do on a consistent basis.

That is why you start small with actions which prove your new identity based goal.

5. Iterate and focus on inputs to make progress

Like I mentioned above, goals are great for planning, but your ability to focus and implement your inputs determines how much success you will make.

Often times, we get stuck on the result, or lack their of, which spirals us down a path of negative thoughts and NO ACTION.

Achieving any of your goals will be an iterative process, where you will have to try over and over again. 

It will not happen magically overnight or in one attempt! 

6. Measure and report your performance 

It is quite simple. What you do not measure you can not change. 

This is one of the biggest mistakes I see others making when I discuss how they can reach new levels of success, or achieve their dreams. 

This is something I struggled with before I started my LYP, as I complained I am not able to do x, y, or z. However, I did not one, measure, or two, report on my performance at the time. 

For example, I always complained I did not have enough time before my LYP. This was before two kids. 

How I said this now, I have no idea. The kicker is that I had no idea how I used my time before kids as I never tracked or reported on it.

Can not stress the importance of this step enough.

Want to make changes in your life? 

Start measuring and reporting on your performance!

I use the STREAK app, but there are million out there which can help you track your inputs, daily decision and actions. This will allow you to learn and modify from your actions so you can accelerate towards your ultimate outcome.

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Whew!

You now posses priceless information if you have made it to the end of the post. Seriously, you now have the road map on how you can crush any goal on the path to achieving massive success and your dreams!

What Went Well?

WT completed!

Settling into our new lives here in China and finding more pockets of time to devote to LYP. 


What is something we can improve? What actions can we take next week?

Worrying about what others think. It is crazy to think WE try to control what others are thinking, yet we spend hours of our time trying to do this very thing. It just takes us down a rabbit hole, which does not have an end.

I want to repreat the phrase that "No thought in another person mind can harm us...(it is true you know)" when I get caught up thinking about what others are thinking.

What is something to avoid next week?

Worrying about what others think or what I think they are thinking...ha!

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PLANNING (Implementation Intention):  You will follow through 2X to 3X more likely to complete your weekly task than you normally would just by filling in the following statement.

I plan to complete the weekly task [day] at [time] in [location]. 

A reminder you might have to use multiple Implementation Intentions in order to follow through.


EXECUTION (strategies used):  From week to week, I use a combination of many strategies. There are always some which are used more than others depending on what comes up, but I wanted to offer a link to all them at once. 

My advice is to identify the I CAN'T statement you tell yourself during the most. Then find a strategy below the statement which resonates with you, and then start using it. 

Enjoy!

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

WEEK 103: CLARITY IN INNOVATION

True happiness...is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.     Helen Keller 

REFLECTIONS (learnings and actions): Purpose. It is a key ingredient on the path to achieving massive success and your dreams. 

I have demonstrated the power of having one with the example of a big room, where I would ask for two volunteers. One I would simply ask to walk around. The other I would ask to walk from one corner to another.

Not going into the full explanation (checkout W97) but it is easy to see the person who is walking from one corner to the other will achieve his goal first. But, what you don't see is the added benefit of saying NO!

This is huge power to possess along the path to achieving massive success and your dreams as it focuses your activities.

Now the LYP can do exactly this (give you a purpose)! A purpose strong enough to get you up everyday at 5:00 AM to start the day and invest in things which will move you from "one corner to another."

It will be different for each person, but for me it is the clarity in knowing my purpose in life is to be INNOVATIVE.

In the beginning of my LYP I was searching for ONE singular activity which I thought would become my passion, but I was in for a huge surprise when three things actually would become my passion; coaching others, being an entrepreneur, and consulting. 

I was a little overwhelmed taking on all three at the same time. However, I learned that each involved being INNOVATIVE.

But what is innovation? It is thrown around a lot today in business, education, and even our lives. But could you define if I were to ask you without searching on Google?

Trust me I could not six months ago, where as, now I know this is what I was put on this earth to do!

Innovation to me encompasses three parts. 

First, EMBRACE problem solving. 

I have written many posts about this, but this is ability to cultivate your Soft Zone. That means:

1. Use uncomfortable feelings to your advantage, thus when you are in challenging situations you know one, the body is ready for action, two, their is more 02 going to your brain, and three you need to make room (by stop comparing your results to others) and analyze your inputs (daily decisions and actions).

2. Apply first principles. Break things down into their fundamental truths and then ask what is true?

3. Use Pareto principle to identify actions to move forward.

4. Iterate and focus on inputs to make progress.

5. Measure and report performance to accelerate towards your ultimate outcomes. 

Second, be Creative.

This is simply the ability to "C" opportunity in all situations.

The most successful individuals are the ones which have the capacity to see things as neither good or bad alike, but rather signals for the next steps.

This requires you to REACT (same letters of CREATE, but just in different order) less and observe more so you can CREATE.

Third, Add the most value to others. 

This has been the hardest for me. We often stop ourselves before we even begin as we are too concerned about numero uno (Me). 

For example, you do not want to do a favor for a friend as it would alter your schedule, or you do not want to do x, y, z because it will make you uncomfortable.

Yet, your life will transform when you take the mindset to add the most value to others.

This is quite singular in detail and I could not have imagined having this level of CLARITY before I started the LYP.

However, the process has allowed me to do just that in literally ONE hour a week.

That is right ONE hour a week/

Now this has taken me 103 posts....103 weeks, almost TWO year...to get to this point, but let me ask you what you have done in the past two years? 

Have you clarified a purpose?

Have you found something to drive all of your actions?

Have you found something to make you get up at 5:00 AM everyday (even weekends) to devote time to see it through?

Oh yeah, this all in the face of being a husband, father of two children, work, cooking, buying groceries...

You can do this!

What Went Well?

WT completed and finding more and more pockets of time to devote to LYP and my businesses!

What is something we can improve? What actions can we take next week?

Stop procrastinating. It is common for you to put things off, especially in the midst of heavy changes. I find myself putting things off for the LYP because there is so much change in my life. Where in reality I can devote that extra 30 minutes!

Need to incorporate the Got 2 minute strategy to devote to LYP throughout the week.

What is something to avoid next week?

Procrastinating and puttiong off things I feel need more time to complete. 

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PLANNING (Implementation Intention):  You will follow through 2X to 3X more likely to complete your weekly task than you normally would just by filling in the following statement.

I plan to complete the weekly task [day] at [time] in [location]. 

A reminder you might have to use multiple Implementation Intentions in order to follow through.


EXECUTION (strategies used):  From week to week, I use a combination of many strategies. There are always some which are used more than others depending on what comes up, but I wanted to offer a link to all them at once. 

My advice is to identify the I CAN'T statement you tell yourself during the most. Then find a strategy below the statement which resonates with you, and then start using it. 

Enjoy!

Saturday, September 2, 2017

WEEK 102: CHANGE IS CONSTANT...KEEP YOUR PRINCIPLES

The only thing that is constant is change.    Heraclitus

REFLECTIONS (learnings and actions): As many of you know I recently packed up my family from Brazil (5 great years!) and moved all across the world to China. 

A lot of people said I was CRAZY, when I told them we were going to move and I honestly brushed it off as my wife and I had already made a similar move whenwe moved from China to Brazil in 2012.

Now, I will be honest. This move has been a little...well, a lot harder. 

Why?

Well two kids first of all, but the fact we moved to a country where none of us know the language, where to get certain necessities, and household items.

This was highlighted this week when my son needed to go to the ER, as he had a fever over 102 (39.5 for you metric peeps) and a skin irritation the size of a small plate in a not so comfortable part of his body.

This was on top of getting used to a new job, new boss, new way of working.....essentially everything NEW.

Cray, cray! 

I was OVERWHELMED! My mind was going through all the scenarios of what might happen and at a loss at my new job as I did not know how everything connected....

Then it came to me through all the chaos...a small voice in the back of my mind, then a louder one, then a deafening SHOUT!

YOU ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF HEAVY CHANGE!

This centered me and I was able to take a deep breath and reflect on what I have learned through the LYP about dealing with change. 

Change is an ironic thing, as it is one thing we desperately want, but also something we avoid at all times.

But, like the quote says above....change is really the only constant we can be sure of. 

Now, change brings with it many things. One thing for certain is the unknown. This lack of clarity produces doubt, anxiety, and fear, which in turn make you question your actions and might even cement you where you stand. 

That is where I was this week! Frozen in one spot, swimming in all of my doubts and fears. 

I literally had no other space in my mind other than what was different and what could go wrong. This produced a projection of insecurity and doubt.

After my wife arrived home with my son's ordeal, I took a deep breath and went back to my principles and went down my progression.

1. EMBRACE problem solving. That means using uncomfortable feelings to your advantage. Either you are feeling doubt, anxiety, and fear as your body is ready for action, you are getting more o2 to the brain, or you need to make room and analyze inputs. 

BINGO...I needed to release these negative thoughts and make room for the amazingness of this move. Also, I needed to analyze my daily actions using the Pareto principle to see what 20% of my actions produced 80% of my results, and then focus on them.

2. Apply first principles. 

This is where you break something down to its fundamental elements and then ask what is true?

Is moving a family half way across the world going to produce massive change? Yes.

Will it take some time to acclimate? Yes.

Have yo done this before? Yes.

Do you know how to create sustainable change. Yes.

3. Use Pareto principle to Identify actions to move forward.

Using the Pareto principle I was able to eliminate the actions which caused me to doubt myself and allow me to focus on moving forward. I am not going to list them all, but I will provide one example.

At work I moved from Google and Windows to Microsoft and Apple. I was stuck trying to figure it all out...swimming in doubt. Then I identified I can improve by learning one thing at a time (Aggregation of Marginal gains).

4. Iterate and focus on inputs to make progress.

For the example above, I learned something new everyday about Microsoft and Apple and then just kept doing it. Actually learned about 5-6 things week already!

5. Measure, report to acelerate towards your ultiam outcome. 

I added tasks to measure my actions I decided to take and will analyze my results to see if they will help me make strides moving forward!

AsI write this post. I already feel calmer and know that it will all work out!

Now, in your life on the path to achieving massive success and achieving your dreams you will encounter heavy change and all the elements which come with it!

Use my principles to help turn those uncomfortable feelings to your advantage so you can accelerate towards achieving things never thought imagineable!

What Went Well?

Weekly task completed in the face of MASSIVE CHALLENGES.

What is something we can improve? What actions can we take next week?

Appreciate more expect less. This will allow me to be PRESENT and enjoy all the great things in our lives.

What is something to avoid next week?

EXPECTING everythign to turn out a certain way!

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PLANNING (Implementation Intention):  You will follow through 2X to 3X more likely to complete your weekly task than you normally would just by filling in the following statement.

I plan to complete the weekly task [day] at [time] in [location]. 

A reminder you might have to use multiple Implementation Intentions in order to follow through.


EXECUTION (strategies used):  From week to week, I use a combination of many strategies. There are always some which are used more than others depending on what comes up, but I wanted to offer a link to all them at once. 

My advice is to identify the I CAN'T statement you tell yourself during the most. Then find a strategy below the statement which resonates with you, and then start using it. 

Enjoy!

WEEK 101: CHANGE YOUR TONE

The characteristic that separates a winner from a loser is the relentless conversions of problems into opportunities, negatives to positives.     Carter Henderson


REFLECTIONS (learnings and actions): I love this quote and the "winner and loser" could be easily replaced with "successful and non-successful."

Now I have mentioned before the path to achieving your dreams will be hazy and unclear at times. This lack of clarity will produce negative emotions, such as doubt, anxiety, and fear.

These feelings produce your DIPs, or the lowest points of taking on new challenges. Often times, they freeze us from taking action, and this is due to the fact we drown ourselves in all the different possibilities of how things can go wrong.

Questions like...

"Why am I doing this? 

Will it work out? 

How might other see me?"

Might pop in your head.

Last week, I said the "Entrepreneur life is the solving of a never-ending stream of problems. You're assaulted by relentless adversity and crisis. It comes with the territory."

I have learned the more problems you have to solve, the closer you are to major breakthrough.

The key is to stay disciplined in these situations to the inputs, decisions and actions, which move you forward over the EASE (Facebook trolling, Netflix....) of choosing something which will not.

For example, moving to China from the US has presented me with the opportunity to use a lot of different excuses for me not completing my Weekly Tasks.

YET...I know devoting the time to these inputs will take me closer to achieving my dream of living life on my terms.

In the past, I would resist and judge the fact that I had more problems to solve. I would complain, procrastinate, and simply quit from taking action to move me forward.

This is normal for 99% of us on this planet as naturally, we humans like to feel comfortable and feel out of sorts when we are constantly solving problems.

Today, I know the more problems (endless stream of problems) I am solving, the closer I am to a breakthrough.

This is where the quote from this week comes into play. The uber successful individuals change there perspective about the "endless streams of problems" and tun them into opportunities. 

Thus, stop viewing completing  x, y, z as problems, but see them as opportunities to learn. 

What on the surface seems like a negative, can be turned into a "positive."

What does this look like in real life?

 Take a look at the TWO scenarios below:

1. Problems, negatives

Man, I now have to find an editor. How am I going to do that. Also, on top of that I need to find another designer who can edit my book cover. Oh right, I have to learn how to set-up my book on Amazon so I can start pre selling.

2. Opportunities, positives

Ok, cool who can I connect with to find an editor (already found someonone). Do I know someone in my contacts who is a designer (I can think of two as I write this) who can help me with this? Lastly, who is a "Pro" who I might be able to learn from to set-up my book on Amazon?

As you can see the tone in each is quite different. 

Furthermore, there have been many experiments which show that the repetition of negative and empowering words affect our behavior. 

Unfortunately, most of tend to replay the problems and negative over and over in our minds. Thus, weakening our abiity to take those next stpes to continue on the path to achieving success and our dreams.

Thus, be prepared to engage in an endless stream of problems on the path to achieving success and your dreams. Convert issues and negatives to opportunities and positives. 

I can guaratnee you will reach places never thought possible if you do this on a consistent basis!


What Went Well?

Two weeks in our new lives in China, yet disciplined and committed to completing the Weekly Task amid heavy daily challenges. 

What is something we can improve? What actions can we take next week?

Identify actions to move forward. Then iterate! 

With the move, there has been moments of uncertainty. I found myself at times not knowing what to do next. This week I want to report on what I am doing and identify actions which will move me forward.


What is something to avoid next week?

Focusing solely on results of others...this just leads down a downward spiral of anger and frustration.

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PLANNING (Implementation Intention):  You will follow through 2X to 3X more likely to complete your weekly task than you normally would just by filling in the following statement.

I plan to complete the weekly task [day] at [time] in [location]. 

A reminder you might have to use multiple Implementation Intentions in order to follow through.


EXECUTION (strategies used):  From week to week, I use a combination of many strategies. There are always some which are used more than others depending on what comes up, but I wanted to offer a link to all them at once. 

My advice is to identify the I CAN'T statement you tell yourself during the most. Then find a strategy below the statement which resonates with you, and then start using it. 

Enjoy!