WT = Waiting Time. DT = Development Time.
PLANNING (task, scheduling, and WT = DT): I plan to write my Leap Year W38 post into the site Medium on Wednesday at 6 PM instudy. I plan to turn those small WTs into Grateful Time, where I look to see what I can be grateful for in those situations. For example, last week I thought how great it was have free time on vacations to enjoy with my wife and Tae.
EXECUTION (strategies used): From week to week, I use a combination of many strategies. There are always some which are used more than others depending on what comes up, but I wanted to offer a link to all them at once.
My advice is to identify the I CAN'T statement you tell yourself during the most. Then find a strategy below the statement which resonates with you, and then start using it.
Enjoy!
REFLECTIONS (learnings and actions): Welcome to 2017! Wow, 2016 was full of some amazing events...first manuscript done, book cover made, starting software company, getting in best shape of my life, all thanks to the Leap Year process. Can not wait to see what 2017 has in store!
I wanted to dive deeper into a topic I have mentioned before in previous posts and it deals with the idea of EMBRACING challenge. In W63 I explained you have to be ok with uncomfortable feelings in order to embrace challenge and today I want to clarify this a little more. I have gained this knowledge from Josh Waitzkin from his book The Art of Learning. Josh discusses a strategy which can help maximize the creativity in every situation, either positive or negative, and he calls it the Soft Zone.
What is the Soft Zone you might ask? The Soft Zone is the ability to sit with, observe, and use uncomfortable feelings to your advantage. Now Josh is a world champion chess and martial arts competitor and has to deal with many players who did not play by the rules. At higher levels, these competitors could easily get under neath the skin of any novice player, and cause them to loose control. This would allow them to take advantage of the over extension and easily go in for the attack.
Josh explained the story of match in martial arts where he had to go against an individual who head butted his opponents, not allowed in competitions, subtly until they opened themselves. He lost the first match when he lost his composure after being head butted numerous times with the referee not seeing it. Josh could not take it anymore and rushed his opponent with a mad fury and opened himself up for a series of attacks which led to him loose the match.
After his anger subsided, he reflected on while he lost his composure and decided he had two choices. One, say this was a happen chance occurrence and believe all competitors are not like this and continue. Thus not changing his training routines. Or two, decide to dive deeper and learn from going up against less than fair opponents.
He chose the latter and decided to train with an individual at his gym who was known for being aggressive and not following the rules. It took about a month of continual poundings, but Josh started to realize his partner only used dirty moves to get underneath his skin. His foundation was not that great, but he was just superb at using cheap tricks to irritate Josh so he would open himself up for easy attacks. Once Josh realized this he could see his partner move in slow motion and could now see everything coming from a mile a way. The training matches started to shift and Josh was able to thwart all of his partners tricks and was easily able to defeat him. After a few sessions of this, the partner said he was hurt or found other partners he could easily take advantage of.
Josh learned a very valuable lesson from his training and it actually improved his overall martial arts abilities. The lesson was to embrace uncomfortable feelings. Going deeper, he learned to sit with, observe, and use them to his advantage. Instead of trying to avoid all the dirty moves and not getting thrown into the mats, Josh took the punishment until he could seem them in slow motion. Then he was able to use this to thwart the attacks and then use them to his advantage.
We often times try to avoid uncomfortable feelings at all costs. We don't want to feel nervous before talking in public. We don't want to be wrong in front of a group of people. Or we avoid difficult people as this takes us out of our comfort zone.
Being ok with uncomfortable feelings means you will sit with, observe, and use them to your advantage. If it serves you use it to fuel your creativity, if not, then drop it. This is what the Soft Zone is.
You do not have to go to your local martial arts studio and find a partner who will pummel you using deceiving tricks to learn this lesson. Furthermore, you do not have to enter major competitions as well. You can cultivate the Soft Zone with any situation where you might feel uncomfortable. The first reaction will be to avoid it, but try to sit with, observe, and then use it to your advantage.
For example, I would always try to calm myself down before giving a speech in front of strangers. I would try breathing slowly and change my breathing patterns to avoid these feelings. Recently I have embraced them and just sat there with my nerves, as they are telling me I am alive and alert. This in turn helps me turn these feelings into energy for my speech. This perspective of sitting and not trying to change the feelings has allowed me to start using them to my advantage and cultivate the Soft Zone.
So the next time you feel uncomfortable, sit with, observe, and use them to your advantage to help you grow in ways never thought imaginable.
What went well?
Weekly task completed and cultivating the Soft Zone to help me deal with uncomfortable situations.
What is something we can improve upon? What actions can we take next week?
Be fully present when talking to someone. I always feel I have one foot out the door to my next appointment when talking with someone. I want to make a conscious effort of facing someone when I talk to them so I can be fully present and listen.
What is something to avoid next week?
No being present during conversations.
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