WEEK 111: CONFIDENCE

Confidence is recognizing something is not working and having the flexibility and knowledge to make adjustments.

Tim Grover

REFLECTIONS (learnings and actions): This week I want to write to you about an integral part of achieving any goal, massive success, and your dreams.

But before I get into it I want to tell you a little story...

There was this shy boy who really liked a certain girl, but did not believe she would ever say yes to hanging out with him.

He could visualize in his mind talking to her for hours on end and all the things they would do...but his dream ended when he snapped back to reality.

"Who do I think I am, she is way out my league!"

Now the central idea portrayed above is a part of so many other stories and is exactly why most of us find it so hard to achieve our dreams. 

What is it?

Confidence.  

We all think we know what it means, but most of us really do not know. I would bet most people could not define it if you were to ask them, yet this is what you need to understand before you can achieve any goal, massive success, and your dreams.

To start, you really need to know the difference between being confident and being cocky. Knowing the difference can produce drastically different results. 

Cockiness is the inability to see something is not working and repeating the same mistake over and over. This is what Albert Einstein called insanity.

Tim Grover wrote it succinctly, 

"Confidence is recognizing something is not working and having the flexibility and knowledge to make adjustment."

This means you will need to constantly adjust and keep rolling with the punches. Additionally, you must understand things might not work at all. Especially the first time. 

I have written in the past the path to achieving your dreams will be hazy and unclear at times. This lack of clarity will cause you to feel uncomfortable feelings like doubt, anxiety, and fear. These feelings can stop you dead in your tracks as the uncertainty is too much.

This is where the definition of confidence comes into play. You might not know everything you will need to do, but you must center your thoughts around the belief you have the ability to see when something is not working. This will enable you to use your flexibility and knowledge to adjust and figure it out!
Wow....that is powerful!
You do not need to know everything...you just need to dedicate yourself daily to developing yourself and your craft. This builds up your knowledge and flexibility to be ready for any situation. 
For me, this new found definition of confidence came at the perfect time. I have three simultaneous businesses running currently. Recently, I have felt a little overwhelmed as I do not know with 100% certainty all the necessary things to move each one forward.
However I have been rejuvenated after this epiphany about confidence; identifying when something is not working, being flexible, and using my knowledge to adapt and figure it out!
This ties so many other learnings I have had lately.
Acting from a place of confidence allows me to 
1. Make a decision, and have a relentless, singular focus to make it right.
2. Act from abundium (element of abundance).
3. Understand everything is a means to an end, not an end itself. 
4. Ability to see nothing that happens in another persons mind can harm us. Nor the shifts and changes in the world around us. 
Like I said before...powerful!
Now can you build confidence by just sitting on your laurels? No, it is built from daily preparation and honing your mental and physical skills. 
That is why the LYP has been so instrumental for me. It has given me a conduit to build up my confidence through a daily commitment to personal development. 
Did this happen over night? 
No, but I can guarantee you will be able to achieve ANYTHING if you commit to your LYP, as it will arm you with the confidence to achieve your dreams!,

Top three activities that move me forward?

1. Investing time to ingest beneficial information for my growth. Traffic and Funnels and the book Relentless. 

2. Listening to a Life coach podcast. Eye opening for me and my ideas surrounding relationships. 

3. Following the Nutri-90 program (lost 3 kilos in one week).

Biggest lessons and learnings?

Being able to define confidence. 

What are you grateful for?

The LYP...it has opned up a new life never thought possible. Dreams I could not have imagined are now tangible thigns I can visualize and see in my future!

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PLANNING (Implementation Intention):  You will follow through 2X to 3X more likely to complete your weekly task than you normally would just by filling in the following statement.

I plan to complete the weekly task [day] at [time] in [location]. 

A reminder you might have to use multiple Implementation Intentions in order to follow through.

EXECUTION (strategies used):  From week to week, I use a combination of many strategies. There are always some which are used more than others depending on what comes up, but I wanted to offer a link to all them at once. 

My advice is to identify the I CAN'T statement you tell yourself during the most. Then find a strategy below the statement which resonates with you, and then start using it. 

Enjoy!

STRATEGY LIST

WEEK 110: SAFETY AND IMPACT

Investing in the long term safety requires you to DISRUPT and VIOLATE short term safety (comfort)!   Taylor Welch

REFLECTIONS (learnings and actions): I want to share a great message I heard from one my mentors this week.

His name is Taylor Welch and although he is based mainly in business, he offers so much information on how you can take yourself to the next level in all areas of your life. 

Taylor was speaking on how people go into business for one of two reasons.

First, impact. This is the idea you want to leave this earth a better place than when you arrived. It is having the satisfaction you were able to help people reach higher levels of themselves never thought possible.

He later goes onto to say if you truly want to make an impact, then you must play "Full Out!" Which means you invest all you have and more into reaching your goals and dreams. This means both in money, but most importantly your time. 

From choosing who to spend more time with, to what activities you do on a daily basis. These are all investments you make which will either lead you closer or farther away from where you want to be.

Now how do you play "Full Out" to create an impact? 

Well you need to invest in people and environments which will help you accelerate the process. This is similar to "Finding a Pro" and "Being a Pro" from the LYP.

I have learned success leaves clues, and you will never move faster (or save money or time) trying to figure everything out on your own.

That does not mean you just go out and invest in any program, you must do your due diligence. However, what normally takes years can now be learned and implemented in months!

The second reason why people going into business is safety. Safety for their loved ones, safety for their future, safety in how they use their time!

The crucial thing which most of us miss, is there are actually two different types of safety. Short term and long term.

99% of us on this planet fight to ensure short term safety at all costs, ie our comforts. We have been taught to think playing it small is equal to playing it safe, and we do everything in our power to be safe! However, this very reason holds us back from achieving our goals, success, and dreams.

WHY?

It does not stretch and push us to reach our potential!

The 1% uber successful actually do everything to ensure long term safety first. This means they violate and disrupt the short term safety in order to ensure long term safety.

For example, my wife and I are changing to a healthier LIFESTYLE, not diet, and invested with a knowledgeable coach who is teaching us about nutrition and optimal health. This is for our long term safety, but it has totally disrupted our short term safety...investing our money, not being able to eat anything we want at any given time.

Although it is hard (it is, no getting around it), we are in it for the long term safety...to be able to watch our kids grow, and their kids as well! 

So in the words of my mentor play "Full Out" on the path to achieving your goals, massive success, and your dreams!

Top three activities that move me forward?

1. Eating properly. Junk in junk out. 

2. Listening to audio books at lunch. I moved away from this, but even 5 minutes a day can lead to dramatic changes. 

3. Not telling others how to do things. No one likes being told what to do, thus I am working to do this with everyone in my life starting with my loved ones!

Biggest lessons and learnings?

Success leaves clues. You want to change? Want to accelerate your progress? "Find a Pro" and then "Be a Pro" at taking massive action to reach your goals. 

What are you grateful for?

Financial abundance. Investing and providing for my family, traveling, taking actions to publish my book, running my businesses...it is a great feeling to have!

Having a purpose and living it out. I often forget when I did not have one, moving from one thing until the next, but now there is a singular focus to publish my book in December of this year and continue to build my three other successful online businesses!

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PLANNING (Implementation Intention):  You will follow through 2X to 3X more likely to complete your weekly task than you normally would just by filling in the following statement.

I plan to complete the weekly task [day] at [time] in [location]. 

A reminder you might have to use multiple Implementation Intentions in order to follow through.

EXECUTION (strategies used):  From week to week, I use a combination of many strategies. There are always some which are used more than others depending on what comes up, but I wanted to offer a link to all them at once. 

My advice is to identify the I CAN'T statement you tell yourself during the most. Then find a strategy below the statement which resonates with you, and then start using it. 

Enjoy!

STRATEGY LIST

WEEK 109: AUTOCORRECT

Things have no hold on the soul. They stand there unmoving, outside it. Disturbance comes only from within - from your own perceptions. Marcus Aurelius

REFLECTIONS (learnings and actions): 

I want to discuss with you an amazing realization I had this week which can help transform your life and help you achieve any goal, massive success, and your dreams.

But before we get into it, I want to tell you how an airplane gets from one location to another (trust me it connects). 

Today, we just take it as a natural part of our lives, where we get in a plane and then the pilot takes us directly to our destination.

Yet, there are so many things which occur which the normal joe schmo like us do not see. From varying pressures in the atmosphere, different air currents, precipitation, and storms; rarely do we travel as the crow flies (straight path from one point to another).

The pilot and plane are constantly autocorrecting due to a drop in pressure, unseen turbulence (which is part of every flight), and any other event related to flying.

Now why did I tell you about how a plane autocorrects constantly to arrive at its destination?

Well, this is exactly how you achieve any goal, massive success, and your dreams. You make a decision and choose a destination, and then autocorrect constantly from the moment you take off until the point you land. Always, being present at that current moment and then choosing the best course of action to get you to your final destination.

Unfortunately, 99% of people on this planet have difficulties with the autocorrecting part. Either because they quit because they deviated from the straight path they decided or are overwhelmed by all the stress and frustration caused from all the new changes in their environment.  

Now we, me being included from time to time, get stressed and angered because of the changes and shifts in the world around us. We REACT to whatever external event we are presented with and believe these events have power to determine who we are.

For example, you eat the carton of ice cream as you had a stressful day at work. Or, you lash out at your loved ones because your boss yelled at you earlier for no reason. Even worse yet, you did not invest in yourself, as another project came up which zapped your time.

Simply, we REACT and get angered, frustrated, overwhelmed...because of the changes. Yet, the changes are things which are constant.

Think about that for a second. Everything, and I mean everything, is always shifting and moving around us. It never stops. It is similar to Las Vegas or New York, those cities never sleep. They run 24/7.

This is why I love the quote and the learning I gained from it this week.
Change is always going to be a constant of our lives. The tension (stress, frustration, anger, hopelessness) comes internally based on how we one, choose to see the situation, and two, how we choose to deal with such events. I have learned this is what determines whether you will start or stop, endure or quit, succeed or fail.

Going back to the path of achieving your goals, massive success, and your dreams. You are overwhelmed with negative feelings due to being bombarded with all the changes of taking on such a challenge. You react and blame it on your external environment, which has caused you to lose focus and fall off the "wagon" (again).

When in reality, those external events or the "turbulence" on the flight, called your life, will always occur. Thus, the tension is not produced because of your environment, but your ability to see it. 

This ties to what I have been talking about in the last two weeks about the power of making a decision, then having a relentless singular focus to make it right. 
One of the hardest parts is to "make a decision right,' as it requires you to embrace change and all that it brings with it. However, think of yourself as an airplane autocorrecting on its flight path. Don't get mad or frustrated the air pressure increases, or a storm pops up. Observe it for what it is, then choose the best path which helps you reach your final destination.

Top three activities that move me forward?

1. Eating properly. Junk in junk out.

2. Appreciate more and judge less.

3. Being present. Even if you have to be in another place.

Biggest lessons and learnings?

The power of proper nutrition for the body. You can not perform your best if you are continually filling your body with junk.

What are you grateful for?

Having a purpose and living it out. I often forget when I did not have one, moving from one thing to the next with no clear end in sight. Where as now there is a singular focus to publish my book in December of 2017 and continue to build my three successful online businesses!

-----
PLANNING (Implementation Intention):  You will follow through 2X to 3X more likely to complete your weekly task than you normally would just by filling in the following statement.

I plan to complete the weekly task [day] at [time] in [location]. 

A reminder you might have to use multiple Implementation Intentions in order to follow through.

EXECUTION (strategies used):  From week to week, I use a combination of many strategies. There are always some which are used more than others depending on what comes up, but I wanted to offer a link to all them at once. 

My advice is to identify the I CAN'T statement you tell yourself during the most. Then find a strategy below the statement which resonates with you, and then start using it. 

Enjoy!

STRATEGY LIST

WEEK 108: SINGULAR FOCUS

Dripping water hollows out stone not through force, but through persistence.    Ovid

REFLECTIONS (learnings and actions): This week I want to build off what I spoke about last week in terms of "making a decision and then making it right."

Just to recap, we often make a decision easily, yet question it at every change we get. Crazy, true!

Why do we do this?

I have learned this week it comes down to one simple thing. 

What is it?

A singular focus.

This idea reminds me about a story of a group of warriors who traveled by boat to a distant land. As you can probably understand, the warriors had every intention to win, but every one of them had a sliver of doubt as well.

The leader of the warriors kept them focused on the idea of winning, but he drilled this point home once they arrived to the distant land.

What did he do you ask? 

Well, once every warrior got off the boat and grabbed their supplies...he grabbed a torch and then threw it in the boats.

They turned in shock and some were angered from the leaders rash actions. But was he rash?

After some confusion, the leader explained there was one choice to get back home was to win! There was no retreat.

The power of this story was highlighted this week for me, as there were many challenges that could have kept me from my LYP (traveling, devoting time to rest with family, devoting time to businesses and LYP...all in a different country).

Often times, we are quick to make a decision, yet we leave a back door open in case we feel we can not achieve what we set out to. Although you might have all the motivation in the world and are gung ho right now, you still leave the possibility that you can quit.

The learning from last week involves first to make a decision. Second, you need to put all of your actions into making it right. This is where the lesson to eliminate the other options and cultivate a singular focus  from helps you "make your decision right."

Just like the example of the leader burning the ships (the possibility of defeat) so that his men could focus on having one singular focus to win, we must remove all doubts and options which stop us before we achieve what we set out to...our dreams!

That means endless problem solving and the knowledge you will be faced with failure along the way.

Yet, through it all you know you might lose a battle, but you will win the war!

Thus, decide to achieve your dreams and then have a singular focus to make the decision right...no matter what!

Top three activities that move me forward?

1. Exercising consistently.

2. Taking the time to have meaningful conversations with the ones I love (OJ Meggo).

3. Tracking and reporting on my performance. I did not do this for a couple of days and saw the importance when my data was skewed.

Biggest lessons and learnings?

Cultivate making a decision and then having a singular focus to make it right...in all aspects of life.

What are you grateful for?

Being able to travel and see different parts of the world! I highly recommend you do this as much as you can, as it truly humble you, while at the same time amaze you!

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PLANNING (Implementation Intention):  You will follow through 2X to 3X more likely to complete your weekly task than you normally would just by filling in the following statement.

I plan to complete the weekly task [day] at [time] in [location]. 

A reminder you might have to use multiple Implementation Intentions in order to follow through.

EXECUTION (strategies used):  From week to week, I use a combination of many strategies. There are always some which are used more than others depending on what comes up, but I wanted to offer a link to all them at once. 

My advice is to identify the I CAN'T statement you tell yourself during the most. Then find a strategy below the statement which resonates with you, and then start using it. 

Enjoy!

STRATEGY LIST

WEEK 107: MAKE A DECISION AND MAKE IT RIGHT

Make a decision and then make it right!  Maxwell Maltz

REFLECTIONS (learnings and actions):  I am writing this post as I look over ocean waters in Thailand and life by all measures is pretty awesome!

Now you might think sitting here and being able to bring my family to a fabulous resort I might have it all figured out.

On the contrary, I was actually reminded of a great lesson this week (keep reading I will tell you).

But before I get into it, I want to share a common story which we live out on a daily basis that takes us farther from achieving our goals. 

Queu music...

You sit at a restaurant with your friends and then are handed a menu. There are so many options. From the appetizers, to the main courses, to the chef recommendations, and then desserts. 

You ask your friends what they want to eat and listen intently as each person sells why you should get a certain dish. 

Eventually the waiter comes, and you might even ask them their suggestion as well.

Then they go away to give you some more time to think. After a few minutes they come back and people start to put in their orders. 

Then, you are up. 

You feel pressured and are not sure, should you get the amazing bowl of pasta or that great dish recommended by the waiter?

Then you decide on something and hope for the best.

You engage in conversations with friends, yet you still doubt the choice you made.

Then, the food finally comes out and you see what everyone ordered. Automatically, you think you made a wrong decision, but you wait until you taste your dish.

You take your first bite and...

You knew it! you should have ordered the other dish. 

Thus, you go through the rest of the meal thinking about the wrong choice you made and how much better it would had been if you would have chosen differently.

Sound familiar?

Funny thing is this situation can be matched up to so many other things in our lives, and even the bigger ones such as achieving our goals and dreams.

How you might ask?

First of all, we often never make a decision as we want a 100% guarantee that everything will work out (never will happen).  

Then, if a decision is made, we automatically think of returning to safety where we do not have to stretch past our comfort zone. Even worse, we reconsider our decision.

It is CRAZY and you would even say so if I were to tell you to make a decision and then second guess it.

Yet, this is what most of us do on a daily basis. Me being included.

However, this is opposite of what the most successful people I have learned from do.

I was reminded of this when I was listening to the book Pyscho Cybernetics (a must read) on a ferry ride this week for work.

It said:

"Make a decision and then make it right."

The power of this quote was magnified later on in the week.

Like I said I booked this trip to Thailand with my family about a month ago. No issue there.

Yet, I questioned every part of our journey once we started to travel. Why did we choose this from of transportation, why did we decide to stay at this hotel...

Crazy right (as I sit on a seated balcony overlooking the water)!

Again, this is the same to with the small and big decisions we face daily. Even the major decision to achieve your dreams!

Now I have learned that making the decision is easy, but not second guessing it and making it right is the difficult part.

Why?

Obstacles (opportunities), road blocks, resistance...even the smallest things can derail you and make you start thinking about why it will not work.

This is when you need to keep in mind this simple quote from above and learn to "make a decision and then make it right!"

Blessing from Thailand...J

Lastly, I am going to switch things up a little for the ending to provide some insights you can use throughout your week.

Top 3 Activities that moved me forward?

1. Applying Pareto principle on a weekly basis to identify which actions to take.

2. Exercising. Can not stress the importance of exercising to relieve the built up stress from the week.

3. Applying the "Got 2-Minute" rule to start tasks which need to be completed.  

 

Lessons and learnings?

Make a decision and make it right! No second guessing, once a decision is made, all actions move to make it right!

What are you grateful for?

Being able to communicate with my wife. It helps us grow closer through tough and good times alike!

Being able to take my family to Thailand for a week! 

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PLANNING (Implementation Intention):  You will follow through 2X to 3X more likely to complete your weekly task than you normally would just by filling in the following statement.

I plan to complete the weekly task [day] at [time] in [location]. 

A reminder you might have to use multiple Implementation Intentions in order to follow through.

EXECUTION (strategies used):  From week to week, I use a combination of many strategies. There are always some which are used more than others depending on what comes up, but I wanted to offer a link to all them at once. 

My advice is to identify the I CAN'T statement you tell yourself during the most. Then find a strategy below the statement which resonates with you, and then start using it. 

Enjoy!

STRATEGY LIST